I'm hooked on to you, I need a fix, I can't take it, just one more hit i promise I can deal with it.

Mood : Relapse, if you get what I mean.

Listening to: Addicted - Kelly Clarkson

Have you ever been addicted to something? Be it an object, an action or a person, whatever. So addicted that it crash you when you don't get enough of it. If you say no, you just never seriously got addicted to something or someone.

Then you realized that you're in too deep, you can't pull yourself out and so you get into the rehab stage. You do whatever you can to keep your mind off that particular thing or person. You get help from people to talk you out of your addiction. You get yourself busy with all kind of activities. That's the rehab stage.

Next you recover. Your rehabilitation plan worked out. You can finally live without the object or person and all of a sudden life seem so much more and happier. However , this can have two endings. One,that object or person is out of your mind and that's it, it's out of your life. Two, what you did during rehab was just repressing your needs and thoughts so that people around you wouldn't be worried or call you silly, and very often this will lead to a relapse.

To me, the relapse is the most depressing stage. Not "oh my god, without this I'm gonna die" or "oh my god, I don't have this object or person so I'm gonna cry like there's no tomorrow" kind of depressing, but that kind of feeling you get when you realized all you've done before this had no use, you're still not out of it, that object or person is still in your mind . What's even more depressing is knowing that you can't have that object or person you want no matter how much you plead.

Go on, laugh, or even be sarcastic, I wouldn't care, cause I'm relapsing.