We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs,and they'll think it's just cause we're young,and we'll feel so alive.

mood: merdeka

listening to: The great escape - boys like girls

How have I been you ask? Good, if you cut out the parts with my mum in it. She really is a pain in the ass, I used to cry because of her, but now I just couldn't be bothered anymore, I've become so numb.

On a lighter note, I had a great time with the students from Ohio University. They are Andrew, Sean, Ray,Molly and Max, if any of you , by any chance, is reading this, I really love hanging out with you guys :) Will post pictures up when I got pictures from them.

Thanks to them, I got closer to Estee too, which is good, I never knew that I could be this close to her, and she's such a sweet and funny girl, you should see her when she's drunk, she's the cutest drunk person I ever seen, Andrew agreed on this.

And if you're wondering if I'm still hurt because of him, nah, I've been way better. Told you I'm a tough cookie *wink* I'm a spartan woman, muakakakaka

merdeka.

Well this is not ur fault,but if im without u then I will feel so small,and if u have to go,always know that u shine brighter than anyone does.

the mood: Alright,still.

Listening to: Brighter - paramore

No. He said no. Oh well... I rather be single for now anyway, at least till I transfer to the states. No worries, you know I'm a tough cookie :)

My hopefully final semester started. I have a good feeling about it, it's gonna be fun especially the cross-cultural communication class, ADP brought in 5 students from Ohio University to join us for one semester, and they are all doing this subject. Each of them has been assigned to one host to take care of them and bring them around KL through out the whole semester. I'm one of the hosts, Estee and Haruka are too. Well Mr. Vijaya said the course is gonna include a lot of outings and it's very activity based, can't wait for class to starts.

Went back to college today. Finally got my results and timetable for this semester. Miss Su-ann introduced me to Molly, the girl from Ohio that I'm hosting. She's really nice and I found out that we share a lot of things in common, she plays guitar and I play drums, heck, we can even form a band, hahahaaaa.... Estee even told me that we dress kind of alike.

Speaking of college today, chilling with Ryan and the others was fun, we got so bored we even sang loudly in subang square. I also found out that Ryan the Madcat loves orange too, both the fruit and the color, just like me!

All in all, it was a good day, good enough to keep my mind off things.

You love me, but you can't commit, what the fuck?

All you have to do is hold me, and you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be If you'll trust me, love me, let me, maybe, maybe...

mood: scared yet anticipating.

listening to: maybe - kelly clarkson

That woman! Grrrrr-oaannn.....!!!

10 things I hate about staying with my mum:

1. She waking me up early in the morning by knocking on the door like a mad ram. It's my holiday for god sake! it's not like I can wake up this late when the new semester starts!

Besides, she wakes me up for the most random reasons, for example ,today, she just woke me up and let this guy into my room and spray some smelly thing around my room, I wasn't even awake yet! I later found out that it's some anti-pest thing, she should have let me know earlier right? grrrr....not to forget sometimes she just wake me up so that she can nag me even more... please la, if you're a morning person, so be it, because I'm not a morning person during my holiday! I can't be forced out of bed to get scolding and be happy for the rest of the day, thank you.

2. Forcing me to clear up my brother's mess. I hate it. It's because of this my brother has no sense of responsibility. If i complain, I get more scolding, she'll tell me that he's my brother and I should help. So every single time he leaves tissues, dirty dishes, wrappers and what not around , I have to clean it. Seriously,wtf?

3. Force me to do chores when she knows that I'm not free. Excuse me, who's the one who has all the time in the world cause she's not working now? and who is the one who has college, and she only has a pathetic two weeks holiday? I'll keep my room clean that's for sure, but stop asking me to do your laundry , wash your plates or sweep and mop the floor of your room.Sorry la, I'm not your maid, you can't order me like that, if you want one, get one yourself.

4. She always complain that I go out too much, while she's the one who goes out every night. She also does not let me make my own decision.I'm freaking 20 ok? It's not like I can't take care of myself at all, I'm no longer that little girl who tag around wherever mummy goes , I want my own life too. She very well know that I'm just like her - someone who likes to go out and have her own freedom - then freaking let me be! If she thinks that it's a motherly responsibility to be all overprotective and controlling, someone please let her know that she's very wrong.

5. She complaining about me sticking too many posters and pictures in my room. It's MY room ok? Why can't I decorate it the way I love?

6. She loves to jump to conclusions. I reaaaallly hate this one, this is one of the reasons why I don't really want to talk much to her nowadays. Pisses me off.

7. Pms. She can be all lovely and happy and cool and *insert wonderful traits* for one second, and just when I thought it's safe to talk to her, her gives me a 180 degree change, and become all hot-temper and snappy and *insert bad traits*

8. She treats my friends very very very well, like they are her children and I'm not. Why can't she just be nice to me too?

9. When I need to buy anything or pay for anything, she'll always say : " ask from your dad" or " remember to get the money back from your dad". Sometimes I wonder,how much does she spend on me?

Education? no my dad's supporting me. Groceries and bills and clothes and house rent? no, my dad sends money over every month. Phone bills? no, both my brother's and my line are being paid by my dad's card. Car? She always claim back the expenses from my dad. I seriously pity my dad.

10. Though all these hate, I still love her. Shit la, this mother - daughter bond thing is never going away. You know why I've been avoiding talking to her? Cause we always end up in fights. I mean I know once I transfer to the states the gap between me and my mum is gonna be wider, and I really wouldn't want to make things worst now, that's why I'm avoiding her to avoid fights. In a way, she's slowly pushing me away from her. That's bad.

Sorry to bore you with this ranting of mine, but I just need to, maybe it's the bad anti-pest spray smell.

Please give me a yes, I'm still holding on to the 50% of hope. I think we deserve a chance.

Life can show no mercy,it can tear your soul apart,it can make you feel like you’ve gone crazy,but you’re not...

Mood: Awesome Possum!

Listening to : Lost - Michael Buble

Summer Holiday!! Awesome Possum!!!

Wheeeee........

Celebrated my birthday at QBA @ Westin KL, had a blast there, will post pictures up once I get them from Albert the wacky ape-y monkey.

Oh yea, speaking of Albert, him being his awesome self, he got me a Rubik's cube!

And so I decided to mix it up and start solving. I started with getting the 2X2 cube then I got the 3X2 cube and eventually I got one side all solved without upsetting the 3X2 cube, which means I got a whole layer! I was so excited I called Albert to tell him. Guess what, he then told me that I will need to google for the formula from then on..."F@#%$!" cause there's still no internet connection at my new home ( Oh yea, in case you don't know, I moved to Bandar Utama).

Thank god for Albert the monkey , who sent me the formulas through sms, or else I wouldn't be able to sleep the whole night because it bugs me not solving it. Hahaa.... he asked me to take a photo with it as a proof of me solving the cube by myself for the first time in my life, haha.

~*~

Holiday has been good so far,here's what I did:

1. Unpacking and arranging stuff at the new place ( Okay, this wasn't that good, but still, I kind of like my new room.)

2. Drumming improved! Ian, my drum sensei started to teach me songs, I'm learning "chop suey!" by system of a down now, pretty tough, but still I'm glad that I'm starting to play songs.

3. Sinfully splurged, for I got ang pow from relatives for my birthday.I got a dorothy perkins white bag, a zara black silky shorts and a forever 21 tee that says "more candy less war" :) sorry la, I'm a girl what, sure get excited over new purchase one k?

4. Hanging out with Tiff. She's leaving soon :( Sayang came to my place that day and helped me on unpacking, then we went to the curve to settle her farewell thing

5. Rubik's cube! hahaha

6. Bummed and bummed and bummed, oh wait, I still have 3 dvds to watch!

okay gonna go and bum somemore now, ciiaaooo...

Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does. Can he swing, from a web?... No he can't, cause he's a pig. Look out, he's the spider pig...

Mood: Contented

Just watched: The Simpsons Movie.

Life's been treating me good lately. Why you asked?

• Birthday approaching, can't help but feel a little excited.
• Dad bought me Godiva chocolate.
• Watched the Simpsons Movie and had the best laugh of my life.
• Did something right , which I should have done a long time ago.
• Realized that I'm more comfortable with who I am now, compare to last year.
• Seeing someone.
• Summer semester ending soon, holiday!
• The highlight of my hair turned out nice.
• Realized that I've grown up a little bit more.
• Going to taiwan soon for the competition.
• Watched Tiff's ballet show, I thought it would be boring but I was wrong ,I actually loved it, ballet is cool, and ballet girls got hot bodies :p
• Met lots of good people.

Yea I guess that's about it.

Wait.... I think I left one out.

• 
  CARL'S JR IS IN MALAYSIA!!! woopeeedooo... yummy yummy

Go try it, it's really goooood. No kidding.

And here we go again,with all the things we did, and now I'm wondering, just who would I have been

Mood: Fine, just fine.

Listening to : Here we go again - Paramore

Best quote of last week:

Mum: So where are you going tonight?

Me: ermm ... I'm going out clubbing with my friends tonight.

Mum: Where?

Me: Asian Heritage Row, Maison.

Mum: Asian Heritage Row? I went there last week. You're going there? Aiya...There's where all the young punks go you know?

Me: Mum... I AM a young punk!

*giggle*

Mum, mum, mum... mums will always be mums.

Anyway, I'm at Starbucks now, yea i know, again. Well, free wireless and my favorite Raspberry Frap Tea is here, can't complain :p

Things keep changing recently. Yea, I know it's normal for things to change , that's how life goes right? Change like how my mum cancelled her trip this morning before her flight, daaammmnn, just when I thought I can be away from her for one week.

Oh yea.... My hair is not a virgin anymore.I now have red highlights! hahhahaa... and now Albert the wacky ape-y monkey calls me the red possum.

Great.

Is it me or Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movie is really cute ?

Work it harder make it better do it faster makes us stronger.

Mood: Restless.

Listening to: Harder.Better.Faster. Stronger. - Daft Punk

This is Albert. My Bestari Indomee + gigs + ponytail + Rubik cube buddy. Thanks a whole bunch to him, I can show you faithful readers some pictures. You see, I don't have a camera, which is very very sad cause I loveee taking pictures, that's also the reason why my blog doesn't really have pictures.

Do you know Bestari's Indomee is humping awesome possum? This picture is taken by Albert with his uber awesome possum camera with the awesome possum fish eye lens. I think now you know why he call me possum.

We went to Starbucks before going to see Reza Salleh's performance at Groove Junction. Notice the Rubik Cube? Yea, that's the little evil thing that bugs me all the time now.

Then I decided to play with that gadget that fascinates me always, the camera.

The fish eye lens is damn fun.

It makes the drink look huuuge!

My little fish eye moment.

Albert's little fish eye moment.

Thanks Albert, for being a great buddy and sent me these pics , and stop calling me a possum you whacky monkey!! hahaha

Damn... I still can't solve the Rubik cube, AARRGGHHH....

Well maybe I'll put my love on ice,and teach myself, maybe that'll be nice, yeah.

Mood: bored.

Listening to : Black math - the white stripes

I believe I did blog about my theater 102 play - the Cubicles, yea, so here are the pictures.

The poster.

Welcome to Buckingham Pt. Ltd.

I'm Sarah, the office -gossip-coffee-addict, hhaha...

Jolin is Debbie, the sexually deprived perfectionist. Well that guy whose head is on the supposingly photocopy machine is Dennis ,playing Charlie, who's the office metrosexual. Charlie & Debbie are always fighting against each other.

Catfiiiiggghhhttt in the office, wooohoo...

Yugi is George, the boss.

Sarah loves to eavesdrop, she really really does.

Isa is Joseph , the boss's spoilt son.

Daryl is James, the gay personal assistant of the boss.

Miki is Tiffany, the office flirt & Estee is Margaret, the controlling wife of Manuel.

Jennifer is the Vice President, the one whom the whole office couldn't get in touch with and all the competitions between the employees to take her place started because of this.

Navvin is Manuel, the funny Mexican. He was the star of that day for his potrayal of Manuel was real good.

Raihan is Ms. Bullakh, whom we passionately call Ms. "Bollocks" . She's the rich Arab lady who is our troublesome difficult bitchy client.

Last but not least, the very awesome possum Mr. Vijaya.

The cast of The Cubicles, gonna miss this play a lot, I had so much fun.

To those who came for the play, thank you so much for supporting and I hope that you guys enjoyed the play :)

Owh... I miss shouting "Maanuueeellll....."

ring,ring,ring,ring,ring,ring,ring, bananaphone, dubdubidubbidub...

mood: Happy

listening to: Bananaphone - Raffi

Last night I went to Dexter's house for his BBQ party. After dinner, we decided to play Taboo, and maaan, it was outrageous.

Here are some classic Taboo moment :

(The word : Wisdom )

Pau: Ok ok, this is very easy. I'm full of?

Janice : I know I know !! SHIT!!

Dexter's sister: Nonono.... CRAP!!

Pau: ...

( The word : Air- conditioner )

Pau: Okay... When you're hot, you turn this on.

Janice: GUYS!

Pau: ...

( The word: Wig , you can't use the word hair, head)

Dexter's sister: erm erm... artificial threads on your scalp...

Everyone: ...

(The word : Bicep )

Pau: (Pointing to his bicep) What is this?

Dexter's sister: Muscle!!!

Pau: nonono...

Janice : I know i know!!! FAT!!!

Pau: ...

So as you can see, we had tons of fun, hahhaa.... poor pau, he really should stop using himself as a hint, it really doesn't work, hahhaaa....

Will post pictures up next time.

My new laptop is awesome possum.

You know how much I love you Daddy, but if you don't mind, I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.

Mood: thankful.

Listening to: Butterfly kisses - Bob Carlisle


Thank you Daddy... i really can't thank you enough. Every single thing I want , every single thing I merely mentioned, you always try to make sure everything I need is there. I know you want to make it up to me for not being there with me most of the time, but it's okay daddy, I don't want to be spoilt. Do you know that when you ask me to go ahead to get a new laptop and it'll be my birthday present, I feel so much like a spoilt brat, that I should be ashame of spending more of your money...seriously. Thank you daddy... I love you :)

This is how usually my conversation with my mum goes:


Mum: Are you working on your application?
Me: Yeap
Mum: I want you to go to San Franc, don't go to New York, it's a very dangerous place and don't think I don't know why you want to go there, coz your friends are there , right?
Me: No mum, can I make my own choice of which uni I'm going to?
Mum: Make your own choice? Your not even paying for it
Me: (in my mind) Neither are you mum, dad's paying.
Mum:(Continue nagging) Why you never put in effort to communicate with your family? You think your friends are so great? Fine, if you don't need us you can leave the house.
Me: ... (lock myself in the room)


This is how usually my conversation with my dad goes:


Dad: (after signing some forms for my application) is that all?
Me: yea, thanks daddy.
Dad: You do whatever you have to and want to okay? I'll always support you no matter what.
Me: (stoned for a while) thank you daddy, that's actually what I need to hear from you or mum... you know, nowadays it's really hard to talk to mum...
Dad: I know what you mean kay? but try to bear with it ok? very soon you'll be leaving and she's your mum, just try to listen, and stop talking back ok?
Me: yea i will (look at dad and smile)
Dad: (stood up coz we're leaving the restaurant) Okay, you take care ok? drive safely
Me: When are you going back?
Dad: tommorow, 6pm flight
Me: Okay... you take care, don't smoke and drink so much
Dad: Ok (hugs me and kiss me on my cheek) take care k? say hi to your mum for me
Me: ok i will


so yea, you can tell there's a big difference.


It's not that I don't want to communicate with my mum, in fact I love her, it's just that I don't know why whenever we talk, she just have to nag in a very bad way, and somehow the whole thing ended up in an arguement, so eventually I try to avoid talking to her.... bad I know... will try to make things right, sigh...


one question before I stop
Am I a horrible person? I need brutally honest answer, thank you :)

I want you to know that I miss you ,I miss you so.

Mood: confused.

Listening to: Letters to you - Finch

A quick update here.

We got into the international finals, which will be held in Taiwan, which means I'm going to Taiwan in September!!! Wheee...

Unless my mum doesn't let me go....

Okay, better don't jinx myself now.

Couldn't blog or even be online much recently, my laptop is fucked.

Have to wait for my dad to come and get me a new one, damn... do you know how hard it is to open my mouth and request my dad to get something for me, I just don't want to waste too much money, considering that I'm going to transfer to US next year and I'm sure that will cost a hell lot. Plus, my bro just got a damn chun comp.... Which make asking my dad to get me a new laptop so much tougher. My mum you asked? Urgh... Don't even think about it, she hardly get me anything, if she does , she'll just ask me to claim money back from my dad.

I'm now busy with theater 102... the play is on this Wed and Thurs... and to be honest, we're not quite ready yet. More practice and less argument is needed. Sigh... I hope everything will turn out alright. Dennis and Yugi said I improved since Theater 101, and Mr. Vijaya gave me a good remark, that's a good start I guess.

Right, till next time , when my bro is kind enough to let me use his comp, or the next time I'm at someone's house, haha.

Hey you Rebounder, who are you? I heard the song, and now please tell me who are you?

Dancing In the moonlight, everybody's feeling warm and bright, it's such a fine and natural sight, everybody's dancing in the moonlight...

mood: Happy

Listening to: Dancing in the moonlight - Toploader

It's one of those post where I start off with apologizing for a long hiatus. Well I've been really busy with college and practices for a competition.

What competition you ask? It's this song writing competition my singing group thingie joined,we work humping hard for it, and we got into the final, which will be aired live on 24th June on Astro channel 19, yea, chinese songs, but the songs are nice! There's gonna be a sms voting thingie so please tune in and vote for us if you are free, thank you :)

You know what's the best part of this? There are 12 songs in the final, 6 will be eliminated and the other 6 will be sent to Taiwan to compete against other countries! My group had won prizes in Taiwan in the past 3 years, but I didn't follow them for I was either having exam or was busy or was in Hong Kong, so this year I might stand a chance to go, wheee... so wish me luck ;)

~*~

So you can tell that I've been really busy and tired. This doesn't mean that I'm as emo as I know I was before, surprizingly, I've been really happy, and I guess because that I'm happy, good things are starting to come my way.

Even those few minor undesired incidents and those few bitches in college didn't bother me at all, an improvement I guess. I switched my focus on my studies and the competition and it worked! The only down side is that I don't get to see my friends , especially Tiff, Pau and Jin much since I'm seriously that busy, I miss you guys a humping lots!! (see, I've been trying to find words to substitute "fuck")

~*~

Oh yea, Justin & Shiwei came back from the States and some of my friends in Aussie came back too, so gonna have lots of gathering and catching up with them. Glad you guys are back man, welcome home.

Tiff is leaving soon though... was on the phone with her just now and when she mentioned it, I could tell that she's sad... Gonna miss her a humping lot, but chances are high that I'm gonna see her there in January, considering the fact that I'm applying to Buffalo as well.

Oh shit, application... really have to stop procrastinating so much.

Anyway... gonna sleep now, I'm humping tired, will post pictures if there's any, hhaha, and I'll update more , I ,yet again, promise.

You think that I don't know that you read my blog?

Do you really think that she wouldn't tell me what you told her?

Do you think just by writing that and tagging will gain back her trust?

Do whatever you want or say whatever you wanna say darling,

cause now you're just a fool to me.

I see pain, i see need,i see liars and thieves abuse power with greed ; i had hope, i believed,but i'm beginning to think i've been deceived...

Mood: Recovered, again.

Listening to : No More Sorrow - Linkin Park

And so the summer semester started.

I realised I'm just not good at blogging bout things that happens in my life, like blogging bout what I did with my friends or what exactly happened during college or my day out. I like to write bout how I feel and little things that inspire me in my life, might sound a little like a poser but yea, that's what I write about.

For instance, I was driving home that day after the photoshoot thing with Tiffany. I switched on my car cd player, My Chemical Romance was in it, "I Don't Love You", those of you who are close to me would know that MCR always reminds me of a certain someone, and so I switch the player to the radio mode. Guess what, Fly fm was playing that exact same song, it's fated I guess,instantly those memories flooded back, and I hummed along to the song. After a short moment of bad singing-along, this thought hits me : usually when I listen to MCR songs, memories will flood and usually me being a cry baby will start tearing... but this time, I thought of all the things that related to him, and I smiled, yea, I smiled not cried. Then I told myself : " Congratulation , you just recovered for good. "

I'm out of rehab.

I'm hooked on to you, I need a fix, I can't take it, just one more hit i promise I can deal with it.

Mood : Relapse, if you get what I mean.

Listening to: Addicted - Kelly Clarkson

Have you ever been addicted to something? Be it an object, an action or a person, whatever. So addicted that it crash you when you don't get enough of it. If you say no, you just never seriously got addicted to something or someone.

Then you realized that you're in too deep, you can't pull yourself out and so you get into the rehab stage. You do whatever you can to keep your mind off that particular thing or person. You get help from people to talk you out of your addiction. You get yourself busy with all kind of activities. That's the rehab stage.

Next you recover. Your rehabilitation plan worked out. You can finally live without the object or person and all of a sudden life seem so much more and happier. However , this can have two endings. One,that object or person is out of your mind and that's it, it's out of your life. Two, what you did during rehab was just repressing your needs and thoughts so that people around you wouldn't be worried or call you silly, and very often this will lead to a relapse.

To me, the relapse is the most depressing stage. Not "oh my god, without this I'm gonna die" or "oh my god, I don't have this object or person so I'm gonna cry like there's no tomorrow" kind of depressing, but that kind of feeling you get when you realized all you've done before this had no use, you're still not out of it, that object or person is still in your mind . What's even more depressing is knowing that you can't have that object or person you want no matter how much you plead.

Go on, laugh, or even be sarcastic, I wouldn't care, cause I'm relapsing.

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses her blanket, but I've gotta get a move on with my life,it's time to be a big girl now...

Mood: Recovering, if you get what I mean.

Listening To : Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie

Chillex, Janice, Chill. It's just a tire punture, and it's all ok now.

You were lucky that you only discovered the tire puncture when you were at the petrol station, it's so much better than stranded in the middle of the road with no fuel,a puntured tire and a useless brother. Plus,your mum actually came to see if you are okay, so consider yourself lucky. I know, I know... you've been pretty unlucky lately, and that all your close friends, except Jin, had a tire punctured this year, but it shouldn't bring you down :)

" I hope you know, I hope you know, That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, myself and I,We got some straightening out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've gotta get a move on with my life,It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry"

- Big Girls Dont Cry by Fergie

I know I shouldn't miss you... but somehow I still do.

Hurt at first, a little bit, but now I'm so over, so over it.

Mood: Happy
Listening to: Over it - Katherine McPhee

Langkawi was awesome possom. Since I'm such a procrastinator, and if you

want to know what happened during the trip, you can read bout it on

Tiff's Blog or Tim's Blog.
They did a really good account on it , kudos to them :)

So yea, haven't been updating much , I promise I'll write more.

Oh yea, have you heard that PEOPLE's 2007 Most Beautiful Person is none other then my favorite girl in Hollywood ( Yea, to me she beats Keira, though I love Keira too), Drew Barrymore!!

I mean, look at her, ain't she gorgeous? And this is her without make up on.

She's naturally gorgeous! People at PEOPLE sure have good taste in what is beautiful. Drew Barrymore is beautiful both inside and outside. She's positive and she shine in her own special way and that's what I love about her. That's what I call beautiful, not hot body,designer clothes and thick make up. For this, I think she totally deserves the title, congrats Drew.

Here are some quotes from her that I like:

"There's something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk."

"I believe in fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I think it's important to seek out that reason - that's how you learn."

"Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths"

"As much light as I have inside me, there's just as much darkness, I'm afraid. There's a polarity, and I still have demons to work out."

"I'd rather be a few pounds heavier and enjoy life than be worried all the time."

Aww... I just love her :)

Here are a few more pictures of beautiful celebrity that made it into the PEOPLE 2007 Most Beautiful People list without make up. Enjoy :)

Rachel Bilson

Eva Longoria

Rashida Jones

Rihanna

Katherine McPhee

Jessica SimpsonJessica BielJessica Alba

See the trend? I'm considering naming my future child , if it's a girl, Jessica, hahhahaahaa....

When you go , would you even turn to say " i don't love you , like I did yesterday."

Mood: Better than Friday midnight.

Listening to: I don't love you - My Chemical Romance

And so this is the end.

I will not have any feelings for you anymore, I will try my best to totally let go. I don't cry for you any more, I guess I just needed an answer, thank you for being so honest with me. Don't you worry, you know I'm stronger than I seem to be. It might seem funny to many people, four days of perfect dates and it lasted me so long, I guess I was just a fling to you, but you weren't to me. Now, I'm letting go, and I'm glad that we are still friends. I just want you to remember me, and that I once like you this much, then I'll have no regrets. Thank you for all the memories and take care.

Goodbye, so long, goodbye.

Your memory will carry on ,we'll carry on ,and in my heart I can't contain it,the anthem won't explain it.

Mood: Reminiscing

Listening To: Welcome To The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

I have a love/hate relationship with reminiscing.

I love sitting down alone, listen to songs that bring back memories, no matter good, bad, sweet, bitter... anything, as long as it's something that once made a great impact on my senses. I love it when those feelings hit me again when I'm reminiscing, they might make me cry or laugh or smile sweetly again, just like back then.

I know, you realistic people out there might say that there's no point in looking back, sentimental values means nothing. Sorry but sentimental values means a lot to me.

However, as much as I love it, I hate it too... just as I'm smiling to those time I had, another feeling hits. I suddenly realized that there's no way I could go back to those sweet time again, I realized there's nothing I can do to erase guilt and faults, I realized that there's no way that special someone is coming back to me again... well , you get my drift... then the hatred towards reminiscing crawls out , and I'll move on, again.

Confused condition yet to be solved, unanswered question yet to be answered.

Oh well... till my next reminiscing moment.

~ * ~

2 more hours to your birthday... Have a blast there, get yourself drunk.

Happy 20th Birthday Nicholas...

Hugz and Muackz

A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins , I will never ask if you don't ever tell me, I know you well enough to know you never loved me.

Mood: Irritated

Listening To: Cute without the "E" - Taking Back Sunday

Guess what, someone stole my business communication final report , and now I have to do it again.

I know, what the f**king f*ck hell right?

My deadline for passing up the report again is tomorrow morning at 7am, I love you Mr. V, I love you. Luckily Tiff helped me by writing the intro, you don't know how grateful I am.

As for those of you who are close to me would know that it has been a few really tough , stressful weeks for me. However, thanks to stress, I found my 10 favorite stress relievers...

1. Heroes

- I can't explain why everytime I watch it I become very happy.

2. Jello

- i love them, they makes me happy, yummy. Come to think of it, I only ate jello last night for dinner, no wonder I woke up hungry this morning.

3. Reading blogs

- I got friends who blog bout interesting, entertaining stuff.

4. Blogging

- well, maybe my posts aren't that interesting, but blogging is like letting out your thoughts, which is good for stress relieving.

5. Johnny Depp

- you have no idea how amazing my desktop/wallpaper looks now, everytime I look at it I fall for Johnny even more.

6. Funny songs

- songs like Bananaphone and Lollipop lift my spirit, especially bananaphone, damn funny and catchy.

7. Sleep

- something that I need badly, my dark circles are like my best friends, they never leave me.

8. Clubbing

- drinks, dance, music, fun people, hilarious stories... what more can a stressed girl ask for?

9. Stoning

- it IS a great stress reliever, I'm serious.

10. Procrastinating

- come to think of it, stress relieving is like an excuse for procrastinating, isn't it? Well, that doesn't stop me from blogging though the freaking work is due at 7am.

So yea , that's about it, gonna go back to more typing.

Bleh... I want Jello.

For what I've done, I'll start again, and whatever pain may come. Today this ends,I'm forgiving what I've done.

mood: happy happy

Listening to : What I've Done - Linkin Park

This is what I'm craving for at the moment.The W880i... yummy.

Theater final's over, kind of having post-production syndrome now. It was a great play and we got great feedbacks. Well I got a low mark, but so what, the audiences totally enjoyed the play, that's what important.

I'm doing Theater 102, and I'm playing Viola from Shakespeare's 12 Nights, my favorite Shakespeare's character. The play is gonna be in June, so come and watch it if you could :)

Maison night again on Thursday, it was eventful, but I'm glad that everything turned out okay. It was fun, didn't get drunk and turned out to be the one making sure everyone is fine.

Ju asked whether fire is hot.

Nick said : " I'm fine.... just dizzy..."

So clearly, they were the ones who got high and wasted. Hahaa... Ju I'm not defaming you okay? It's just that you're so adorable and funny when you get high, and at least I'm not telling the washroom story here... ok I should stop here, hehe.

Some people are happy drunk, they are funny when they are high.

Some people are psycho drunk, they beat people up when they are drunk.

Some people are emo drunk, they get all emo and cry.

Some people are stone drunk, they just sit, stone and erm, stone.

Some people are crazy drunk, they tend to do stupid , crazy stuff they wouldn't do when they are not drunk.

Some people are kinky drunk, they get all horny.

So which kind of drunk are you? ;)