Monday, July 02, 2007

You know how much I love you Daddy, but if you don't mind, I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.

Mood: thankful.

Listening to: Butterfly kisses - Bob Carlisle

Thank you Daddy... i really can't thank you enough. Every single thing I want , every single thing I merely mentioned, you always try to make sure everything I need is there. I know you want to make it up to me for not being there with me most of the time, but it's okay daddy, I don't want to be spoilt. Do you know that when you ask me to go ahead to get a new laptop and it'll be my birthday present, I feel so much like a spoilt brat, that I should be ashame of spending more of your money...seriously. Thank you daddy... I love you :)

This is how usually my conversation with my mum goes:

Mum: Are you working on your application?
Me: Yeap
Mum: I want you to go to San Franc, don't go to New York, it's a very dangerous place and don't think I don't know why you want to go there, coz your friends are there , right?
Me: No mum, can I make my own choice of which uni I'm going to?
Mum: Make your own choice? Your not even paying for it
Me: (in my mind) Neither are you mum, dad's paying.
Mum:(Continue nagging) Why you never put in effort to communicate with your family? You think your friends are so great? Fine, if you don't need us you can leave the house.
Me: ... (lock myself in the room)

This is how usually my conversation with my dad goes:

Dad: (after signing some forms for my application) is that all?
Me: yea, thanks daddy.
Dad: You do whatever you have to and want to okay? I'll always support you no matter what.
Me: (stoned for a while) thank you daddy, that's actually what I need to hear from you or mum... you know, nowadays it's really hard to talk to mum...
Dad: I know what you mean kay? but try to bear with it ok? very soon you'll be leaving and she's your mum, just try to listen, and stop talking back ok?
Me: yea i will (look at dad and smile)
Dad: (stood up coz we're leaving the restaurant) Okay, you take care ok? drive safely
Me: When are you going back?
Dad: tommorow, 6pm flight
Me: Okay... you take care, don't smoke and drink so much
Dad: Ok (hugs me and kiss me on my cheek) take care k? say hi to your mum for me
Me: ok i will

so yea, you can tell there's a big difference.

It's not that I don't want to communicate with my mum, in fact I love her, it's just that I don't know why whenever we talk, she just have to nag in a very bad way, and somehow the whole thing ended up in an arguement, so eventually I try to avoid talking to her.... bad I know... will try to make things right, sigh...

one question before I stop
Am I a horrible person? I need brutally honest answer, thank you :)


Nutty Nat said...

Maybe you're just not able to click so well with your mum, character wise. That doesn't mean that you're a horrible person.

I argue with my mum on just about anything... everything, in fact! She thinks I'm such a dull, grey coloured, rigid, angular cyborg woman while I think she's just a lazy thinking dumbo :P She knows I pick on her on everything she does, so she goes, "Shoo! Go away! I know what I'm doing...", despite the fact that I will still continue fussing over it with her anyways. Sometimes, she has to yell at my face just so she can get me off her back. Doesn't work with me cos I'll still yabber on anyways. Loads of silly silly stuff, really. I know why me and my mum argue heaps too. That's only cos we don't think alike in most cases. Our point of views differ most of the time.

Very rarely I have arguements or conflicting opinions on anything with my dad. That's cos I can understand his mindset and I'm able to work my way around it too, without having to really get out of my comfort zone. Frictions always happen between individuals and you should understand that this is a fact of life, because everyone has different character types. It's how you work your way through all the friction that helps.

If you're asking whether or not you, not being able to communicate with your mum as you expect yourself to, means that you're a horrible person, don't be too harsh on yourself there, yeah? If your mum seems to constantly nag at you, she's probably just being very concerned for you. She's still not able to grasp the fact that you're no longer that small little baby girl and that you're now able to go out on your own and do your own things, on your own free will. She's probably just worried sick for you and isn't entirely confident that you'll know what to do when something happens.

bodicea said...

if you are, i won't be your friend, mon ami :)

i like your dad too. your mum sounds too close to home.

missorangedepp said...

Nutty Nat : Thanks Nat :) I totally get what you mean, but I didn't ask that because of not being able to communicate with my mum, it's some other thing, but I'm fine now, seriously , I'm not horrible :)

Bodicea: thank you babe :) I guess all mums are like that :p

Real nutty nutter said...

dang, i got it wrong...